Breathe In / Fade Out (Sketches, Opus 1)

by Joshua M. McBeath



I was sitting in a cafe / bookstore late one night waiting for some friends and happened along a book of Claude Monet's paintings. I have admired his work, along with his contemporaries, for a very long time now, so it may not have been up to coincidence that I chanced upon this book.

As I turned each page a new dazzling work would appear before my eyes, as if painted with pigments made of Diamond, Ruby, Emerald, Opal, Sapphire, Amethyst, and Yellow Topaz. Stunningly blissful sights. Describing the heavenly images upon those pages, would only be doing them a disservice, no language can portray the formidable beauty shining from within that book.

Tears filled the corners of my eyes and began to roll down each cheek, the world was once again perfect, there was no war, there was no death, no hatred, or anger; and while I sat alone I felt an infinite comfort surround me. "I could look at you forever" I whispered to the world within those pages, right there, in front of me.

Slowly the intensity of feeling subsided yet I was still not alone, left with the afterglow of that glorious feeling, and a thought. 'A still image of infinite detail that one could explore for hours upon end, constantly discovering new tones and colours, contours, rhythms, worlds... Is this sonically possible?'.

So I set about creating a sonic landscape of similar detail to what presented themselves before me that night in that cafe. These are simple sketches that attempt to exude the infinite feelings of pure life I felt that night in the hope to transport you to a similar place.


After my experience in the cafe I chanced once more upon an illuminating book that depicted, linguistically, a similar feeling to that which I myself felt upon witnessing those images. Here is the Foreword to Aldous Huxley's novel Heaven & Hell, and although he writes in reference to mescaline be assured that my experience was one of sobriety and transpose the sentiment accordingly, if you will:

"For a person in whom 'the candle of vision' never burns spontaneously,
the mescalin experience is doubly illuminating. It throws light on the hitherto unknown regions of his own mind; and at the same time it throws light, indirectly, on other minds, more richly gifted in respect to vision than his own. Reflecting on his experience, he comes to a new and better understanding of the ways in which those other minds perceive and feel and think, of the cosmological notions which seem to them self-evident, and of the works of art through which they feel impelled to express themselves. In what follows I have tried to set down, more or less systematically, the results of this new understanding. A.H."

Thank you for looking and listening. x


released August 31, 2014

I would like to thank the following people in no particular order: My parents, Stephen and Jacqueline McBeath, thank you for always being there for me and supporting my creative pursuits. Blake Clee, Nicholas Johnson, Paul Trujillo, Amy Angeloudis, Ante Barizon, Michael Burrill, Geoff Gartiner, Simone East. And to you, Thank you for listening.

Album artwork by Jacqueline McBeath, (Edited By Joshua McBeath)



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